Rules for Leadership

Dr. Israel Galindo suggests a “top ten rules” list.

They help you function when anxiety is high.

“Rules” are not high-level principles, but practical and contextual.

They are guidelines for responding in the moment, so your brain is less likely to be hijacked when anxious. As a result, you’ll be better able to think first and then respond. 

Here are some of Galindo’s rule examples:

• “Don’t take responsibility for what is not yours.”
• “Don’t accommodate weakness.”
• “It’s not about you (even when it feels like it and involves you).”
  (Leadership in Ministry workshop, 9/18)

Here’s a stab at my own list. These help me act in more thoughtful ways when my anxiety goes up. 

1. Notice who is moving toward me and who is moving away. Ask, “Who is motivated?”
2. Stay connected. Continue to work on relationships.
3. Notice my anxiety about stating my point of view. Or when I’m inclined to be quiet to keep the peace. Then find a way to say something about what I think.
4. Breathe consciously, especially if I feel anxious.
5. Remember my purpose: to help leaders grow.
6. Focus on my own growth. Trust that will help others grow.
7. Don’t be afraid to challenge people. It’s another way to help them grow.
8. Operate out of a sense of sufficiency, not scarcity.
9. Connect with people who are better-functioning than I am.
10. Pray for those who annoy me the most.
11. Pause before saying yes to any requests, especially big ones.
12. Don’t click links online that make me anxious.

A list like this helps me step back to reflect.

It helps me draw on years of thinking about what I believe and how I want to act (such as not rolling my eyes or internally stomping my feet). They help me lean in rather than avoid. 

Here’s more about two of those rules:

Rules for requests

“Pause before saying yes to any requests.”

I was asked to be on a board. I was tempted to say yes. I was flattered to be asked.

But when I thought it through, I decided it wasn’t the best use of my time. I appreciate the work of that organization. Yet it wasn’t a fit for what I’m up to now.

A sub-rule is, a flattering request is never a good enough reason to say yes! I love it when people love me and my work, but that can be a trap for something I don’t really want to do.

Rules for news

“Don’t click links online that make me anxious.”

In recent years, I have had to remind myself of this rule often.

I read news in The Economist, a newsweekly, in print form. I read articles about important issues so I can know what’s going on and what’s at stake.

I no longer scroll headlines online. I don’t follow people’s anxious posts on Facebook on either side of the hot issues.

I spend more time focusing on my own goals than when I was sucked down the news vortex.

Nevertheless, I don’t always follow these rules.

Sometimes I say yes too soon. Other times, I get sucked in by a headline. I occasionally avoid people or chase them. I get caught in scarcity. 

But I do all these less than I used to. And I’m less vulnerable to being hijacked by anxiety than I used to be, which makes me a better leader.

For reflection: What are your “rules” for how you respond when anxiety spikes? Write down at least one. How does it help you in your leadership?

Want to learn more bout Leerhip in Ministry? Click HERE.

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Rev. Margaret Marcuson helps ministers get lighter and less burdened by their ministry so they can have more influence with less stress. She is the author of Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead (and When to Nap) [forthcoming].