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It takes time to articulate a vision for ministry — time on the clock and time on the calendar. It takes relationships, too. A vision for a congregation isn’t created in a vacuum.
However, it starts with you and your vision for your ministry — not with the church. One of the best ways to begin to work on a vision is to ask yourself, “What do I want?”
“What do you want?” I ask pastors I coach. “That’s a good question…” they say dreamily. If you find yourself gazing off into the distance at this question, it’s a good sign.
But: “Isn’t ministry vision about what God wants, not me? Isn’t it selfish to ask myself what I want?”
Remember: “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4, NRSV. Prayerfully and thoughtfully begin to ask yourself what you want.
But be mindful, you won’t get everything you want.
Dave Ellis, in Falling Awake: Creating the Life of Your Dreams, says you only get about 25% of what you want. You might as well want—and imagine—a lot.
We assume we can’t have what we most deeply want. We don’t even articulate it for fear of disappointment. I’d love to see pastors think bigger and more hopefully about what they want.
Actress Sharon Stone once said that growing up in a small Pennsylvania town, she told people, “I’m going to be a movie star.” Everyone thought she was crazy. Yet she achieved her dream as the star of movies like Casino, which also starred Robert De Niro. Plenty of girls in small towns have dreamed of stardom. But few people reach stardom (or anything else) without first dreaming about it.
The Power of Obligation
You can’t move forward in new ways if you don’t know what you want, or if you are working out of obligation.
Pastors often say, I should… [fill in the blank].
You name it. You’ve got your own list, I’m sure. However, a life of obligation in ministry is not satisfying. You won’t give your best self if every day is filled with shoulds and you never get to do what you love most.
Family Programming
Many clergy grew up pleasing others in the family. They were programmed to be “unselfish” and conflict-averse. They learned early to meet others’ needs rather than their own. Getting what you want in ministry means prioritizing it and taking action. That means you may place less priority on what other people want.
Warning: Some churches and lay leaders are allergic to pastors who are self-defined. They don’t want pastors who know what they want. They want a pastor who does what they want. And no church actually says, “Sure, that sounds great, pastor!” So don’t take it personally when some people respond with “How can you say that, pastor!“
You are your biggest gift to your congregation.
You’ll become a better pastor the more you lead from your deepest self. This doesn’t mean you ignore feedback or never adapt. But when you shape yourself to your congregation’s wants, it’s not in their best interests—or yours. What they need is a leader who is clear and self-defined. (Whether they know it or not.) When you connect who you are with who they are, you have potential for productive ministry.
For reflection:
What do you want? What do you love to do in ministry? How can you do more of it this week?
Rev. Margaret Marcuson helps ministers get lighter and less burdened by their ministry so they can have more influence with less stress. She is the author of Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead (and When to Nap) [forthcoming].
