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When my friend Rev. Kent Harrop was a young man, he asked his father, Norman, “How do you know you’re in love?” His dad’s reply: “When you know, you know.” And then Norman added, “If you have to talk yourself into it, you’re not.”
Let’s face it. We’re not always in love with ministry.
The job, like all jobs, includes a certain amount of obligation. Sometimes you just have to do the work.
Clergy have worked hard over the last several years, discerning how to do ministry with less — often with fewer people and less money. You have to discern with others which ministries to continue. And deal with people’s grief in a changed context.
And navigate a diverse range of viewpoints within congregations about it all. You may have to talk yourself into attending one more board meeting or worship team meeting. Especially if you know a hot topic is on the agenda. You can’t be in love with every part of your work.
The fall launch after summer quiet can be challenging.
You gear yourself up for the routine again. You’re starting up another program year. You’re looking at another stewardship campaign. You’re starting to think about leadership for next year.
All this in a context of high societal anxiety. As they say, it’s called work for a reason. However, if everything on your calendar and your list is an obligation, it’s time to slow down and take a look.
Do you have activities that you DO love and that give you joy?
How often do you do them?
Every day, every week, and every month?
I often ask the people I coach, “What do you love to do most in ministry (and in life)?” They always know. Sometimes, they are already doing some of it.
On the work side, sometimes it’s preaching, teaching, or pastoral care. It may be reading, running, video games, or woodworking. Or a hundred other options. However, all too often, they aren’t doing much on their personal list of activities that give them joy.
What do you love to do most, and can you do more of it?
It won’t happen if it’s always at the bottom of your list. Or hasn’t even made it to the list. In these anxious times, it’s more important than ever to find ways to sustain yourself and find joy.
A little can go a long way. But if there’s nothing, your soul will dry up.
It can feel selfish to carve out time for what you love most.
You — and others — may feel anxious if you leave some work undone. However, there’s no need to feel guilty. You don’t have to look over your shoulder to see if anyone is criticizing you.
For reflection: What do you love to do most? When can you do it (at least a little)?
Rev. Margaret Marcuson helps ministers get lighter and less burdened by their ministry so they can have more influence with less stress. She is the author of Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead (and When to Nap) [forthcoming].
